


Blind

by Melira



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Post-Season/Series 01, Teasing, Worry, compassion - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-05
Updated: 2019-03-06
Packaged: 2019-11-01 08:20:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17863766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melira/pseuds/Melira
Summary: When Matt's senses get dampened, he is what usually is considered "blind" for the first time. And while Foggy does feel for his best friend, he can't just let go the chance of teasing him a bit.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by some scene in the second season and written more than two years ago, long before the third season came out. So none of the stuff from after "The Defenders" had happened yet. This is set before the second season, before Electra turned up again, before Foggy got back together with Marci and before Matt canonically lost his abilities.

It was silent around him. At least as silent as it ever got in the middle of New York City. There were no noises in the abandoned apartment building apart from the slight creaking of an open window two stories above him. Every other sound was coming from the street outside. Cars rushing by, a siren three blocks over, a group of friends arguing over where to spend the evening. Nothing special. 

But in here, there wasn’t even the hum of electricity coming from the cables in the walls. This building was devoid of any life, not even a rat scurried in the basement.  

Matt wasn’t sure if that was a good sign or a bad one. His trail had led him here but there was no trace of the gang he was tracking. If they had even been here, they hadn’t set up camp on the higher floors. He had entered the building through the roof access and worked his way down to the ground. 

Now, he was standing in the foyer, surrounded by the murky smell of a place nobody cared for anymore.  

Not letting his guard down, he took in his surroundings. Behind him the entrance door, to the left a small cabin, probably where the receptionist had once sat, half a lifetime ago. There was a kind of mattress in there, he could smell sweat and nicotine. A smoker had spent quite some time in there. Judging by how faint the odour had become, Matt guessed the habitation had been left a month earlier. In a hurry, if the pile of clothing still lying next to the mattress was anything to go by. Probably due to the group of dealers moving in. 

He let his senses drift a little further. He was standing in a combination of entrance hall and hallway. The room was spacious and every few meters there was a door leading to an empty apartment. Most of them stood ajar or were missing entirely. Only the one in the far right corner seemed to be intact, a fact that seemed worth investigating.   

He silently walked over there, careful. The building being empty didn’t mean there was no potential danger. When Matt reached the closed door, he stopped, listening even more intently. Still no sound at all.  

He slowly pressed the handle, it gave way with a small clicking noise and the door opened a few millimetres. Nothing happened.  

Matt pushed it open a little farther and stepped inside. Before he could ascertain the room was empty, a low hissing noise sounded and suddenly, a new and to him unknown smell filled the air. It was a sweet stench that burned his sensitive nose. He instantly stopped breathing and backed out again, taking several steps away from the door before carefully inhaling again. The air here was better, not yet polluted with whatever gas had just been released. What was it? A drug? He had smelled a lot of those before, coming across all kinds of substances in his attempt to fight crime, but they were seldomly air-borne. More likely it was a poison. He prayed it wasn’t and that, in case it was, he hadn’t inhaled enough to cause any damage. At least, there were no immediate symptoms. 

Taking another few steps back, careful about how deep his breathing was, Matt decided to wait for a few minutes until the air had cleared a little before further investigating the room. That something worth checking was in there was proven by the trap set at the door. 

When he was about to turn and move closer to the wall next to him, not liking to stand in the middle of an open space, his ‘vision’ suddenly got blurry, his world on fire somewhat fuzzy on the edges. He couldn’t make out the shapes around him anymore, couldn’t feel where the wall was, he had moved towards.  

Sudden and overwhelming panic caught hold of him. He felt his heartbeat pick up its pace and his breathing get shallow. A shiver made the hair on his arms stand up. What was happening?  

He tried to regain his focus, to get back in control of his senses. Forcing himself to hold his breath for a moment and stop hyperventilating, he let his hearing wander. There was the street. Cars, voices. Two teenaged girls discussing a movie they had just watched. He concentrated on them, trying to block everything else out. A mini-meditation to help him stay calm. But while he was listening, the conversation got lower as if the participants were quickly gaining distance from him. Within seconds, he couldn’t hear them anymore. And neither the cars rushing by. Not even the piercing sound of a siren.   

The panic gripping his heart was all he could think about, there was no room for logic, not at this moment. He couldn’t hear anything beyond his own breathing that had sped up again and the blood rushing in his ears, couldn’t smell or taste the stale air around him, couldn’t feel the seams on the inside of his costume anymore. He was blind. For the first time in his life, he was really blind.  

The realisation hit him harder than he expected and he stumbled forwards, reaching the wall at last. His knees gave way and he slid down. For minutes, all he could do was cower on the cold floor, his back against the wall, palms pressed down on the tiles beneath him. His breathing was ragged, his heartrate too high and his thoughts swimming.  

Scraps of his life, both of his lives, came before his inner eye. Bits and pieces, snippets of activities he needed his heightened senses for. His whole existence as Daredevil. The ability to tell if someone was telling the truth, to listen to conversations not meant for his ears, to know about peoples’ habits from their smells. His mind showed him what he had just lost. 

No, what he would lose, if this was permanent, he tried to tell himself. There was no knowing how long the effect of the unknown gas would last. He tried to focus on that, to concentrate on the fact, that maybe, this wasn’t the end. That it was just a temporary condition.  

Minutes passed before he had calmed down again enough to formulate coherent thoughts again. To think about what happened next. 

He was stranded in an abandoned building, dressed up as Daredevil, blocks away from his apartment and truly blind. He had to get back home somehow and his usual ways were out of the question. But walking down the streets in this getup was not an option, either. Even the used-to-everything New Yorkers would look twice if a known vigilante crossed their paths.  

Shortly, he considered calling Foggy, but he knew how much his friend hated his double-life and he really couldn’t use a ‘told-you-so'-lecture right now. Not, when he was barely hanging on as it was. 

Before he could panic again, he remembered something from earlier that evening. The pile of clothes in the doorman’s cabin. He couldn’t get out on the streets like this, but if he costumed his costume... 

Taking a steadying breath, Matt got to his feet, supporting himself against the wall. He felt slightly dizzy, his inner ear didn’t like the lack of input from his other senses. Careful to keep his breathing under control, he took a tentative step in direction of the front door, his left hand trailing along the wall. His progress was slow but steady. After what felt like an eternity, he reached his destination, the recess in which he had earlier sensed the mattress and the clothing. 

He entered the small room and started making swiping movements with his feet while walking until he found something lying on the floor. Closer examination told him it was a pair of trousers, stiff with dirt, and a sweater smelling so heavily, even his reduced senses made him almost back away in disgust. But knowing he had no other choice, he put on both pieces and stashed his mask in the waistband, counting on the shape being concealed by the too big sweater that loosely hang on his slim frame. His only hope now was that everyone on the street would just write him off as a homeless drunk and not spare another glance. 

Steeling himself for the odyssey to come, Matt made his way out of the cabin, back into the hallway and to the front door. To his immense relief, it wasn’t locked. At some point in the past, someone must have cracked it open to get access to the building. 

The way back home proved to be even more difficult than Matt had anticipated. His only advantage was him having spent all his life in Hell’s Kitchen so he knew his path in his sleep.  

He kept close to the walls wherever possible but couldn’t avoid crossing three streets. He was just glad it was the middle of the night, so there weren’t too many cars to keep track of. Even with his limited hearing, he was able to guess whether they were far enough away for him to safely step off the pavement or not. Most people he walked by he only noticed when they almost brushed his shoulders which made him jump every time it happened. For the better part of two decades, nobody had been able to sneak up on him, he wasn’t used to surprises like this. And more than once did he stumble over some unseen obstacle, hitting his toes twice on lantern posts. If he hadn’t been so worried, this was his life from now on, it would have felt ridiculous.  

When Matt reached his apartment, he was exhausted in a way he barely ever was. All he wanted to do was drop onto his bed and get at least the remaining three hours of sleep until his alarm went off. But he knew, he would regret it later. If he wanted to avoid smelling like the borrowed clothes for the next two months, a shower was unavoidable. 

He slowly walked down the stairs descending to his living room from the roof access. Not having his keys with him had proven to be a major disadvantage this night. Finding his way across the huge unmarked space between the door coming from the hallway and the one leading to his apartment hadn’t exactly been easy. 

Letting his left hand slide along the wall and his right one trail on the banister, he kept an even pace to avoid a last-minute-accident. But unfortunately, he miscounted the steps and hit the floor at the end of the stairs harder than intended. He felt the jolt going up his spine and through his whole body. He cursed under his breath. 

Carefully making his way to the bathroom, Matt strained his hearing, trying to catch any sound from outside his flat, hoping there was at least the smallest improvement. But he could hear nothing apart from a car honking directly underneath his window. No conversations on the street and no fine humming from the billboard that apparently lit his living space. It was eerily quiet to his usually so well-tuned ears.  

He felt a new wave of panic wash over him, threatening to drown him. Again, he focused on his breathing, trying to keep it even, and concentrated on the task at hand. He had to force the dark thoughts out of his mind, brooding was no use. He didn’t know if this was permanent, didn’t know what was to come. Only time would tell and consciously he knew that. Telling his subconscious though was an entirely different matter. 

Once in the bathroom, Matt shed the layers of clothing – first the trousers and sweater, then his costume - and simply let them fall to the floor, barely caring enough to kick them into two different corners. He would think about them later. He felt his way along the sink and to the towel rail next to it. He picked one of the big cloths and threw it over the edge of his shower curtain’s rod, glad it worked on the first try. He stepped into the tub, closed the curtain and turned on the water. 

It felt infinitely different to what he was used to. Less, in every way. He wasn’t able to make out the different jets of water that hit his skin or determine their exact temperature. He couldn’t smell the faint remains of the chemicals from the sewage works or taste the copper of his building’s pipes. As much as all those stimuli sometimes threatened to overwhelm him when he didn’t manage to block the unimportant ones out – right now he missed every single one of them. 

After nearly the quarter of an hour under the hot stream he forced himself to turn it off again. He pulled down the towel and slung it around his body but the cold air on his still wet skin made him shiver nonetheless. 

Still keeping one hand on the wall next to him, Matt made his way to the bedroom. Feeling through his wardrobe, he pulled out a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. 

This way dressed, he carried the now soaked towel back to its rail, leaving it there to dry. Then, he picked up the Daredevil costume and stashed it away in the usual chest beneath his father’s old belongings and threw the dirty clothing in the trash. 

Every action took him at least three times as long as usual, it was unnerving. He shortly debated trying to meditate before he finally went to sleep. It usually sped up his healing process, so maybe it would help with this, too, but he dismissed the idea again. He was too tired to concentrate. Maybe tomorrow.  

He fell into his bed, completely exhausted, and pushing away every thought about what was to come or not. He knew, if he let himself think about what had happened tonight, the worry would prevent him from getting any rest which was the last thing he wanted. If his way back home had been any indication, the next day would be exhausting even with what little sleep he had left and without any extracurricular activities. 


	2. Chapter 2

Foggy was sitting on the edge of Karen’s desk, only half his mind on their conversation. His eyes kept wandering to the clock on the wall. Ten to half past nine. Twenty minutes later than when usually all three of them showed up for work at the latest. And Matt still wasn’t there. Foggy couldn’t help but worry. His best friend was never late. He always came, no matter how beat up he was. He didn’t dare imagining what must have happened to Matt that he still wasn’t here and hadn’t even called to excuse himself. Foggy grew more anxious by the minute but did his best not to let it show. There was no need to worry Karen as well. Needless to say that he completely failed.

“... Foggy?” Her voice calling his name got him out of his musings. 

“Yeah, sorry. I’m all ears. I totally agree with you there.” He wasn’t exactly sure what she had last been talking about but since agreeing most of the time did the trick, he thought it was the best way to go about it. 

“You have no idea what I just said, do you?”  

“Yes, I do!” She looked at him sceptically. “Yeah, you’re right, no, I don’t. Sorry”, he said again. 

“You know, he’ll be here. Matt”, she explained when he looked at her uncomprehendingly. 

“Of course he will!” Foggy was aware of his not really convinced tone but he couldn’t help it. 

“I bet there was just a problem with the subway or something.” 

“Then why didn’t he call?” He could hear the worry creep into his voice. 

“No service in the tunnels? I don’t know. But I’m certain there’s a perfectly logical explanation for Matt’s absence.”  

“Sure”, Foggy said and stood, running a hand over his face and through his hair. It was easy for her to talk. She didn’t know about the dangers Matt put himself in during the nights. Since the day Foggy had found him bleeding out on the floor, he hadn’t been able to get the picture out of his head again. Even when he had been so mad that he couldn’t talk to Matt had he been worried. A blind man being a vigilante was insane. No matter what said blind man was capable of. That Foggy had mostly given up on talking Matt out of it didn’t mean he wasn’t constantly afraid for his best friend’s life. Whenever he didn’t know exactly where Matt was, pictures started creeping up on him. Matt speared on an antenna on a rooftop, Matt drifting face down in the Hudson River, Matt in a puddle of blood in a dark alley. It was exhausting. 

“Let’s give him another couple of minutes, shall we? When he hasn’t arrived at nine thirty, we’ll try to call him.” Foggy could hear the almost patronizing tone in Karen’s voice but didn’t say anything, just nodded. 

To get himself distracted, he slid off the table and moved towards his office. He only managed about three steps before the front door opened. He swivelled on the spot and was utterly relieved to see Matt standing in the doorway. The man held himself upright and there were no visible new injuries, as far as Foggy could tell. He exhaled slowly to calm himself down. 

“Morning, Matt”, came Karen’s cheerful voice from his left. He saw her casting a glance in his direction, clearly saying: Told you everything was alright. 

“Good morning.” Matt sounded slightly out of breath.  “Sorry I’m late. I slept in, must have missed the alarm. And in the hurry afterwards I completely forgot to call you.” 

Foggy looked at his best friend inquiringly. That man didn’t sleep in. Never had, not even in college. And there was no way he had missed the alarm, not with his insane sense of hearing. 

“You alright?”, he asked. Matt’s head turned in his direction, his eyes hidden behind the usual dark red glasses.  

“Of course, I’m fine.” Foggy wasn’t sure if he imagined sensing a lie in the answer. Maybe he was just too suspicious. But then again... Maybe he simply was observant. 

Matt leaned his cane against the wall next to the door and shed his jacket. He hung it over the coatrack and turned towards his office. Was he moving slower than normal? Somehow, he seemed more careful to Foggy, more focused on what he was doing.  

Curious, if he was right, Foggy decided to test his theory in breaking Matt’s concentration. Usually, the man could to twenty things at once and still navigate familiar spaces perfectly, but today... Today he simply seemed a little out of it. 

“Have you given any thoughts to the Masco case since yesterday?”, he asked.  

At the question Matt, who had just reached the constantly open door to his room, miscalculated the space and bumped into the doorframe. Foggy raised his eyebrows. That was a first! He had seen his best friend in all stages of being intoxicated or drowsy, but never this clumsy.  

This time, even Karen had noticed something was off. “You sure you’re alright, Matt?”, she asked. 

Matt, putting a hand on the doorframe, turned towards her. “Yes. I was just... distracted.” He shook his head slightly then moved a little to face Foggy. He missed the right angle by a few degrees. Another first. “No, sorry, I completely forgot. I’ll go over the facts again and tell you what I think, okay?” 

“Yeah, of course. I’ll get you some coffee. Guess you hadn’t time to drink one this morning.” 

“Thanks!” The answer sounded heartfelt. 

While Karen turned to her work again, Foggy kept his eyes on Matt’s back as the other man moved slowly through his office, uncertainly feeling for the table and the chair behind it. He seemed so unsure, so... lost, somehow. For the first time since they met, he really looked like a blind man. Usually, even when Matt put on the pretence of being unable to see, he was a hint too self-confident in foreign spaces. You didn’t notice unless you paid close attention, but it was always there. Today, that air of his was gone. Foggy wondered whether he should be worried or not, he wasn’t sure. It was just such a strange thought. Worrying about a blind man appearing to be blind. Sometimes he asked himself when his life had become so weird. Was it only when he had learned about Matt’s true capabilities or years before that, when he had met the blind law school student for the first time? In hindsight, he could see that his best friend had never seemed to be quite so ordinary. 

“Foggy?” For a second time that day Karen’s question pulled him out of his thoughts.  

“Hm?” He looked at her. 

“Do you want me to bring Matt the coffee?” 

“No. No, I’ll do it. I was just... distracted.” He startled when he realised that he had exactly copied Matt’s excuse from earlier. 

“What is it with you two today?” Karen asked. “You seem strange, you know that?” Her expression was borderline suspicious. 

“It’s nothing, really”, Foggy hurried to assure her before finally moving to the small kitchen. 

Three minutes later, he carried a steaming hot mug into Matt’s office and set it down in front of his friend, carefully turning the handle so that Matt could easily reach it without getting is fingers burned first. 

Sitting down on one of the chairs opposite the desk, Foggy lowered his voice. 

“You care to tell me what’s up?” 

Matt let his head drop a little, an uncharacteristic movement. “It’s too obvious, isn’t it?” 

“That you behave differently? Hell, yes!” Matt flinched a little. “You may be able to fool Karen, if you put a lot of effort into it, but certainly not me. So, what’s the matter?” 

Matt lifted his head again, staring in the general direction of Foggy. Even with the glasses on you could tell, he didn’t get it completely right. 

“I’m blind.” 

Foggy’s first impulse was to say something along the lines of ‘Oh, really? I hadn’t noticed!’ but his understanding luckily was faster than his loose tongue. So his instinct had been right, something had happened that had cost Matt his abilities. He was shocked. A little satisfied that finally, the lie Matt had told him for years wasn’t a lie anymore, when he was honest to himself, but mostly shocked. He knew that this meant to Matt what losing his eyesight would mean to Foggy. He was astounded at how normal his best friend managed to behave. He certainly wouldn’t have been able to hold up that good of a facade. 

“You... You lost your senses?” Matt nodded. “How?” 

“Some kind of drug is my best guess. I was out investigating a ring of dealers when some trap a door was rigged with released a gas. A few seconds later, I had no idea what was going on around me anymore. No world on fire, nothing.” The memory of that traumatic moment was evident in Matt’s voice, it obviously had shaken him. Foggy didn’t know what to say. He felt compassion for his best friend but he knew, Matt wouldn’t want to hear it.  

“Well”, he finally managed to say, “if it really was a drug, this isn’t permanent, is it? I mean, they lose their effect after hours, days max.” He could hear the slight worry in his own voice but tried to let it show as little as possible.  

“Yeah, I hope so, too...” Matt didn’t sound too convinced and his voice trailed off. 

Inside Foggy’s brain something clicked. When something threatened to get too serious, he usually tried to shrug it off with a laugh. It was just in his nature and it had worked pretty good so far. 

“Well, I’m sure it’ll wear off. Until then, you finally are what you claimed to be for the past twenty years.” 

To his relief, Matt played along. “What? A helpless blind man who can’t walk across his own flat without breaking something?” 

“Exactly. But look at the bright side”, he could practically see Matt roll his eyes at the bad pun, “if you behave clumsily enough until you’re back to normal, maybe Karen will finally believe your stories of ‘falling down the stairs’ and ‘running into the door’. Until now, you really didn’t do too good a job at making that credible.” 

“Believe me, pretending to be blind is not as easy as you would think.” There was almost a laugh in Matt’s voice. Foggy grinned. 

“At least this way I won’t have to worry about you.” Matt tilted his head questioningly and Foggy explained. “You won’t be able to be out on the streets at night, will you?” 

Matt snorted. “You should have seen me last night on my way back home! Wait, no, better not. You would never have stopped teasing me about it.” 

Foggy laughed. “So very true! And you’re right, I would have loved that. But you know what? I won’t leave your side until you’re back to normal again, guess that’ll give me plenty to laugh and tease you about. Until further notice you’re at my mercy.” He almost rubbed his hands in gleeful anticipation. “I hope you can hear me gloat.” 

“I can, dampened senses or not, and I’m truly terrified”, Matt retorted, now almost grinning, too. 

Foggy laughed. Matt back to his wry self, mission accomplished. “And you should be, my friend, you should be.” 

Karen stuck her head through the door. “What joke did I miss?” 

“Insider”, Foggy told her, not able to suppress the grin that still tugged at the corners of his mouth.  

“Pity. Will you at least let me in on the works progress?” Foggy looked at her guiltily. 

“Uhm, there is none so far.” 

“Ah, I understand. You two drink coffee and tell each other jokes while I do all the work. I think I should sue you for luring me into an employment under false pretences or something. Is there such a thing?” 

“Not exactly, but we can help you find another cause, if you want us to”, Matt said helpfully. 

“Dude, what are you doing?” Foggy pretended to be shocked. “She just declared us being the defendants and you offer her help? Did you sleep through the lecture ’10 Things Not To Do As A Lawyer’?” 

“Wait, there was such a lecture? Must have missed it entirely, sorry. Why didn’t you tell me?” Matt did his best to sound sheepish and accusing at the same time.  

Karen laughed. “Okay, I think I can forgive you just this once.”  

Foggy turned on his chair until he faced her entirely and tried to bow without getting up. “Thank you for your graciousness!” 

“Oh, shut up. But honestly, we really should talk about work. The first official hearing is due in only four days.” 

Matt nodded. “You’re right. Let’s meet in the conference room in five.” With that, he started gathering his things. Karen turned and walked over to her desk while Foggy remained seated for another few seconds. He debated offering Matt help with the mug. Carrying a hot beverage when you could barely maintain a straight line was hard, after all. But then again... No, he would manage. Foggy stood, still grinning and left for his office. 

It took him only half a minute to get all the papers he needed. When he had them securely tucked under his left arm, he positioned himself in the doorway, waiting for the others. Especially Matt. When his best friend finally came, he had left the coffee behind, only carrying his laptop and some apparently blank sheets. 

“You forgot your mug”, he stated. Matt grimaced at him. 

“I didn’t want to ruin your hard work by spilling it all over the already stained floor.” 

“How would you know it’s stained?” 

“Intuition”, came the immediate response. Foggy decided to take a pity on the man. 

“Well, I suppose I could help you out and get the coffee.” 

“Thank you for your graciousness”, Matt copied Foggy’s earlier tease. He didn’t imitate the bow, though. Which was unusual but logical, considering that Matt hadn’t been able to sense the motion. While walking to Matt’s office, Foggy mused on how weird it was, having a blind friend but being used to him just knowing about things like nods and bows.


	3. Chapter 3

The rest of the morning passed the same way every other did. Sitting around the big table, occasionally chatting, going through files and trying to determine the best way to approach the case. 

Foggy could practically see the tension drain from Matt’s whole posture as the man noticed that he was still perfectly able to read Braille at an enormous speed and operate his devices as good as he was used to. 

When lunchtime came, Foggy saw his next opportunity to get the better of his friend. 

“I don’t know about you guys, but I’d like to eat Chinese today”, he declared, barely able to contain his grin. He knew, eating with chopsticks would be quite a task for Matt and he was eager to see him try.  

His best friend turned slightly in his direction and bent his head a little so Foggy could see his eyebrows. He lifted one of them, silently asking ‘Honestly? Are you that determined to make a fool out of me?’ which made Foggy chuckle. 

“Sorry, I can’t help it, mate, the opportunity is just too perfect.” 

Karen looked from one to the other and back again, obviously confused. “Why do I have the constant feeling I’m missing out on something today?” she asked. 

Foggy sent her an apologetic smile. “Still the insider. But not letting you in isn’t personal, promise!” 

“Guess I have to be grateful for that. So, Chinese it is, then?”  

Foggy looked at Matt, curious about how he would react. 

“Not for me, I’d prefer a burger.” 

_Smooth, Murdock_ , Foggy thought. _But it’s not_ _gonna_ _be that easy._   

“I’ll get the phone and the menus”, Karen offered but Foggy shook his head. 

“Why don’t we eat out for once? I’d like to take a few steps and get some fresh air.” 

“Fresh air? You do know we’re in New York, right?” 

“Yeah. But even the pure environmental pollution out there is better than the stale air-conditioned poison in here.” He was not going to give up quite so easily. 

Karen looked as if she wanted to say something, but Matt cut her off. “Alright, we should get our coats then, it’s not exactly warm outside.”  

* * *

Yes, Foggy had been the one to push the situation so Matt was forced out on the streets, but slowly he was seriously second guessing that decision. 

He couldn’t help being slightly rattled by seeing Matt so insecure, so helpless. His usual air of confidence had almost completely vanished, his movements were slow and a bit clumsy. He swung his cane carefully, for once really needing it, sometimes actually hitting one obstacle or another and he was slowing the whole group down, something that had never happened before.  

Karen kept casting him sideway glances, ranging from curious to concerned while Foggy couldn’t decide if he should be amused or worried. To tell the truth, it kind of unsettled him. Matt had always been the confident one of the two of them. The one radiating calmness. But now... Now he was jumpy, turning his head every other second, trying to determine what was going on around him without ever really managing it. Foggy felt compassion welling up inside him. The urge to help Matt out was becoming stronger every minute but somehow it seemed like finally admitting his help was needed would make the whole thing real. That it would make the possibility real that Matt might never get back to his old abilities. And Foggy refused to let himself believe that. Himself or Matt.  

He shook himself, chasing the dark thoughts out of his mind and concentrated on being his normal cheerful self again that used every opportunity to tease everybody around him. 

When Matt accidentally bumped into a traffic light which he had narrowly missed with his cane’s swing and Foggy still didn’t offer him help, Karen let out an exasperated sigh. 

“Here”, she said, touching Matt’s hand. He gratefully smiled in her direction and took the offered arm. 

“Thanks, Karen.” 

“You’re welcome.” She cast a reproachful glance a Foggy. “Although I don’t understand how come I’ve inherited this position and why your so-called best friend is such an ass today.”  

In response, Foggy just grinned at her. 

“Oh, let him, I deserve it”, Matt said. The unexpected statement made Foggy look at him in surprise. He had no idea what the other man was getting at.  

“You do?” Karen sounded just as confused. 

“I’m afraid so, yes.” 

“What could you possibly have done to deserve Foggy here”, another not too friendly gaze in his direction, “being such a bully?” 

“Let’s just say, last night was ... long”, came the explanation. 

Foggy involuntarily started to laugh. So this was what the oh-so-good-liar Matt Murdock had come up with? He was almost disappointed. “I bet it was!”, he said still grinning. 

Karen looked at him coldly. “When you’ve got yourself the next hangover we’ll see how you like it if I laugh at you all day! Honestly, what got into you? I know the two of you and I’m used to your banter but this is...” She was obviously looking for an appropriate word, “mean”, she finished a little lame.   

“No, Karen, it’s alright, really.” Matt tried to reassure her. “I got myself into this position, I’ll deal with the consequences. Even if it means constant teasing from Foggy here.” With that, he tried to elbow Foggy but missed him by a few inches. 

“Is that all you got?” Foggy said. “Sad, man. Sad!” 

“I’d like to see you blindly hitting a moving target”, Matt retorted. 

“Was that meant to be a pun? You should be ashamed of yourself!! Foggy pretended to be shocked. “I really am reconsidering this whole ‘being friends with Matt Murdock’-thing right now.” 

Karen shook her head, mouth slightly open, an hilarious confused expression on her face. 

“I’ll mark the day I finally understand the two of you!”, she said. 

“Good luck with that!”, Foggy and Matt responded in unison at which she resigned to her fate and the men started laughing. 

* * *

The work day neared its end and Foggy silently entered Matt’s office. His partner was sitting behind his desk, head bent in concentration and worked through a stack of papers. He obviously hadn’t heard the other man approach. Foggy grinned. Being able to sneak up on Matt – something he had been dreaming about for years now. He pushed his luck and tip-toed closer, relying on Matt’s focus being entirely on the documents. 

When he reached the desk, he paused and took a silent breath. He held his hands above the wooden surface, made sure Matt still wasn’t aware of his presence and let his palms fall down. He let the noise be accompanied by a sudden “Watch out!”. 

The effect was immanent and even more dramatic than Foggy had anticipated. Matt’s head snapped up, he pushed his chair back and stood, all within a mere second. He even adopted what looked like half a fighting stance. His head whipped from one side to the other, trying to determine where the danger was coming from. 

“Jesus, Matt”, Foggy exclaimed. He hadn’t intended to startle him that much. 

“Foggy?” It almost sounded as if Matt was out of breath. 

“Sorry, buddy. I didn’t mean to scare you, only wanted to seize the opportunity to sneak up on you for once in my life.” He felt slightly sheepish. 

Matt visibly relaxed his posture although not to the point at which it looked completely at ease again, felt for the chair that mysteriously had managed not to fall over, pulled it near and sat down again. 

“It’s alright. My own fault, I shouldn’t let my guard go down like this.” 

“Your guard? Man, you’re blind in every sense of the word and you had to focus on reading. How on earth were you supposed to notice someone trying to get near you when that idiotic person did his best not to be heard?” 

“You don’t understand. There is no excuse good enough for me not to be aware of my surroundings. It could easily cost someone’s life.”  

‘Someone’s life’, not ‘my life’, Foggy noticed. Typical Matt. He didn’t care about himself, never had. Everything that mattered to him was everybody else. Which made Foggy’s worrying about him infinitely worse. 

He was taken aback by the fierceness in Matt’s voice. The reaction was far more serious than he had intended. He didn’t know what to say so he settled for a simple apology. 

“Anyway, I’m sorry for scaring you, I’m afraid I overdid it.” 

“It’s alright”, Matt said again. “I guess it’s rather annoying for you, me usually sensing what can only be described as ‘too much’. Taking the opportunity of getting revenge seems understandable.” 

Foggy debated whether this peace offering was strong enough to silence his guilty conscience to the point where it would allow him to pull another prank. The more so as it was a less severe one. Under normal circumstances he was a peaceable type of guy but there was no knowing for how long Matt would be without his advantage of hearing Foggy’s heartbeat. So it was seizing the opportunity of being able to tell him half-truths now or never.  

In the end, he silenced the voice of kindness in his head by telling it there would be no harm done. 

“So, you want me to take you home?”, Foggy changed the subject. 

Matt tilted his head, obviously not knowing what to make of the sudden act of compassion. 

“Oh, come on, dude. I saw you out there today! Letting you go alone would be neglect at least, if not manslaughter. And I don’t intend to be disbarred because of you.” 

“Your trust in my abilities is overwhelming!”, Matt said with a small grin that ruined the accusation in his tone. 

“Yeah, well, you didn’t exactly make it easy to see you as a person who can responsibly be let loose on mankind right now.” 

Matt let his head hang a few degrees. “You’re probably right.” He hesitated. “Uhm... so....” 

“So?” Foggy asked. He knew very well how much his best friend hated being in need of help and that it was even worse for him to ask for it. 

Matt sighed. “Yes, I do want you to take me home. Thanks”, he added. 

“You’re welcome, buddy”, Foggy smiled. “Well then? Those papers anything important or can we leave?” He tried to let it sound slightly impatient. 

It worked. Matt lifted his head again and tilted it as he often did when he was concentrated, confused or just listening to something. 

“What’s the hurry? You’ve got somewhere better to be?” 

A mischievous grin spread across Foggy’s face. His opening had worked better than expected.  

“Well, uhm”, he pretended to be a bit embarrassed 

“You’re meeting someone.” It was half statement, half question, underlined with a hint of amusement. 

Foggy let his tone switch to slightly defensive. “I am, so?” 

“Someone I know?” It was funny, seeing Matt curious. Usually the man knew just about everything but with limited abilities like this... Foggy liked it, he felt less powerless, more like he had the upper hand, had more control over the situation than Matt, for once.  

He hemmed and hawed for a moment. 

“So I do know her, do I?” Matt concluded. 

“It’s... It’s Marci.” 

There was silence for a second.  

“Marci?” Matt sounded surprised, flabbergasted almost. Foggy saved the moment in his memory to indulge in it later. 

“You sure that’s a good idea? I don’t know about you but I remember the breakup back in the day pretty well.” 

Foggy was amused about how seriously Matt took this. That he actually believed what Foggy was telling him. He almost felt bad for making fun of the blind man in front of him. Almost. 

“That’s why I didn’t tell you before”, he said, trying to sound accusing. 

“Before? How long have you been dating her again?” 

“I don’t know exactly. We got in contact again over the whole Fisk affair, as you know, and somehow one thing led to the other. She changed!” He pretended to defend her when Matt shook his head in disbelief. 

“Guess it’s none of my business anyway”, Matt surrendered. “Shall we go then? I don’t want to make you wait for her any longer”, he teased. 

“Oh, shut up”, Foggy said, half laughing, before he left the room to collect their coats. 


	4. Chapter 4

Matt found it hard to admit but it definitely was for the better to be brought home. The day had been exhausting, even more so than he had anticipated and he was glad it was almost over. He hadn’t known how much he relied on his world on fire even in every day life. Getting to experience how easily he could be robbed of his senses – of more than half his life, in fact – had shaken him. Sure, he would get used to it eventually but it’d take time and he wasn’t prepared to lose so much of what he had accomplished just yet. 

He would have liked to talk to Father Lantom but didn’t want to bother Foggy any further.

Of course, the other man had teased him all day and had seized almost every opportunity to make fun of Matt’s sudden blindness, but it had been obvious that most of it was just his way of making both of them forget what this could mean. Matt had felt his best friend’s worry, even without heightened senses and although he didn’t like to be pitied, he would try not to add anything to Foggy’s concerns. 

“So, I’ll see you in the morning”, Foggy said when they’d reached Matt’s doorstep. “Eight thirty right here. Try not to trip over something and break your neck.”  

There it was again, a teasing underlaid with care. And the undiscussed offer to help when it came to the more important and complicated tasks.  

“Eight thirty”, Matt confirmed. “I’ll give my best to be punctual”, he added with a grin. 

“You better be”, Foggy answered and gave him a slight push towards his apartment. “And now go, I can’t spend my whole evening chatting with you, I’ve got better things to do”, he teased.  

“Bet you do”, Matt answered. With a last mocking grin at his friend he stepped inside and closed the door behind him. 

He silently shook his head. Marci. He couldn’t quite believe it. Her relationship with Foggy seemed to have been ages ago. When they still had worked at Landman and Zach. Before Matt had started to patrol the streets of Hell’s Kitchen at night. Before their lives had been in danger because they had poked an already wide awake dragon. 

And in addition, he could still hear Foggy ranting on and on about her when they had met again over the Fisk investigation. He had been quite explicit as to how arrogant she had become and how he didn’t understand how he had ever been able to see a single good thing on her. Plus, hadn’t he shown quite some interest in Karen lately? He could very well remember Foggy’s reactions to her. How his heartbeat had picked up its pace whenever they were in the same room and how he had tried to get to know her better whenever possible. How could that have changed so fast? And without Matt noticing... He knew when Foggy was lying, and he could always tell if his best friend was keeping something from him. Had he been too distracted? Had he missed all the signs on his best friend because he was so occupied with his nighttime activities? So absent minded that he had overlooked that big a change in the person he spent the better part of every day with? 

Matt was already feeling the guilty conscience welling up inside him, telling him he was a bad friend and how Foggy had been right about his accusations when he had first learned about Matt’s senses. He raised a hand to his head, suddenly even more exhausted than before, when it dawned on him. 

He hadn’t missed something. He hadn’t been unobservant. Foggy had just pulled another prank on him. And Matt had completely fallen for it... 

“You..!” He didn’t know whether he should be upset or amused. “Guess I have to find a way to pay you back for that one”, he said to the already gone man. 

He pulled his hand through his hair and carefully moved down the hallway he was still standing in. His apartment felt unfamiliar, just as it had the night before. There were obstacles where he didn’t remember being some and empty spaces where he thought should be furniture. It was irritating.  

After a quick shower and a slice of bread for dinner, he finally settled down on his living room’s floor. He didn’t dare to hope, but meditating had always improved his healing, so maybe... Maybe it would increase his senses again. 

He sat cross-legged on the cold floor boards, taking in deep breaths and exhaling slowly. He concentrated on the rhythm of his chest’s movements until he could feel his mind calm down. When there finally no longer were stray thoughts, he focused on his surroundings.  

First, the hard surface he was sitting on. Usually, he could feel every nail and every bumpiness in the wood, even through his trousers but not today. It felt perfectly smooth. He could feel the uneasiness inside him rising again, but he forced it down. No use in dwelling on bitter thoughts. 

Second, the air around him. It felt perfectly still although he knew there was a steady current from the door to the not completely isolated window. Beside that, he couldn’t make out the exact temperature. Something around 63°F, he guessed. Or was it 65? 

Smell next. Nothing there. 

Last, sound. He could hear the traffic on the street in front of his apartment building. An ongoing stream of cars with an occasional siren piercing through. But there were no voices, no steps on the pavement, no TV in the flat next to his. 

On each sense, he concentrated for a while. The quarter of an hour, maybe. He didn’t know. There was no clock ticking in his apartment that could have helped him measure the time passing. And to be honest, he didn’t care, either.  

When he had finished, he started all over again, shorter this time but with more focus.  

The ground was still perfectly even, but he imagined feeling the hem of his sweatpants pressing against his ankles. And it was more like 66 degrees in here, wasn’t it? Though he still couldn’t smell anything, his ears picked up a door being slammed shut and a dog barking in the distance. 

He tried not to hope, tried not to let himself believe this meant, he could, maybe, eventually, get back to his former abilities. He denied himself the luxury of being confident before he could be sure it was really happening. But he wasn’t able to fully wipe the smile from his face again that had formed when he had first noticed the small improvements in his perception. 

He slowly got up, taking the time to try and orientate in his apartment, using his senses. It didn’t really work, he still was blind in every sense of the word, but he imagined having at least an idea of knowing where everything was around him without having to touch it. 

Falling asleep was difficult. Far more so than last night, when his exhaustion had been complete, being both physical and psychological. Plus, it was hardly 11 pm. Usually, at this time he had barely left for patrol and was still hours away from getting to bed. 

He used the time to get his thoughts in order. To recall what their current case was about, to remember all the facts and to start formulate the pleading in his head. It was a good mental exercise he rarely ever found the time to do.  

Slowly and without really noticing it, he drifted off to sleep. 

* * *

The sound of his alarm clock almost made him jump out of the bed. The beeping pierced through his sleepy brain and chased away whatever dream had lingered behind. Once he was awake, Matt wondered how he could have slept in the first place, with all the noise that filled his ears. 

The noise. It was back! All the sounds he was so used to and that he had missed yesterday, they were back. The talking from the couple three stories below his apartment, the doorbell of the bakery half a block away, the sirens from all over Hell’s Kitchen. It was all back. And with it, the smooth feeling of his velvet bedding, the smell of tomato from his dinner of two days ago, the stale taste of the air because he hadn’t opened a window in a while and the swirls in the air caused by his breathing.  

Matt lay motionless for a few minutes, just testing his senses, pushing them to their limits and checking if they were truly fully back. And they were. He once again was able to feel, hear, taste and smell everything. 

Once he had gotten up, he was surprised on how easy moving was. 24 hours of being unable to ‘see’ had been enough to make him forget about his usual possibilities. That his world on fire gave him more knowledge about his surroundings than any normal person got through ordinary vision. 

Once again, a smile spread all over his face. He didn’t bother wiping it away. He was back to normal so he allowed himself to savour the moment. 

* * *

Three quarters of an hour later, his doorbell rang. Foggy. 

Matt had his stuff ready and was fully dressed, already waiting in his hallway, sunglasses on and cane in hand. 

He opened the door and a wave of _Foggy_ washed through his nose.  

“Morning!”, the other man greeted him. “Have had an uneventful night?” 

“Morning”, Matt answered. “Yes, indeed. Other than you, I take it?” He questioningly raised an eyebrow although he already knew that Foggy had stayed home alone, eating peanuts, probably in front of his TV. There was not a hint of Marci’s odour on him. 

“Yeah.” He could hear Foggy’s heartbeat pick up slightly and sensed him grinning, pleased with himself that he had fooled Matt. “It was great. We went out on a drink and well ... One thing led to the other, you know.” 

Now it was Matt’s turn to grin maliciously. “If so, why can’t I smell either alcohol or her perfume on you?” 

Foggy exhaled, obviously disappointed. 

“You didn’t think you could get away with that, did you?”, Matt teased. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A comment would be much appreciated ;-)


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